Hmm.. It will be psychological text, practical, I hope it will inspire you. Seeing the scale of this wound – the mother wound, I decided to write something about it. Because the scale is a huge, from individuals, families, relationships, further concepts matrix- systems, economy, social segregation, separations, manipulations ect… Ect…
The first question is: Do you feel good on Earth? Can you fully get around here? Are you standing on your own feets? Does someone or something have to keep you up? Is your life really yours? Or do you meet other people’s expectations, sacrifice your individual path, your own desires and the needs, dreams? For something to be/ was satisfied, although it will not be, and maybe this time it will be? Maybe for a while … Or maybe you don’t even know what you want or like or love, because you’ve never thought about it… from and for Yourself, from the inside, from your own body.
The moter wound has a very specific vibration of being a victim, a feeling that you do not deserve, or that it is not enough, it is never good enough, or that you are not good enough. And that if, for example, you get something good, beautiful, meaningful or simply a gift you will definitely lose it soon, or it will be taken away from you or you will have to give it back. You feel a constant lack, a hole that can’t be filled, or you’re clogging up this “hole”, maybe people, maybe sex, maybe work, maybe stimulants, maybe another stimulation, or depression. Everything is very tight mental, there is a lot going on in your head, you think and overthinking. Roll and roll… You run away… and you run into your head, so that sometimes you do not find yourself in the body. You travel with your head, you do not stand based on Earth – you float … just do not go down, just do not find yourself in the body, not to feel really, because it is perhaps embarrassing or intense, because maybe then the truth will come and you will feel terrifying, maybe it will wipe you away and annihilate any mental constructs. And yet you do not want it, is easier to keep all as it is, even if it is not good and well or even how do you know if it is good or not? Is it your voice, or is it someone else saying it? Or maybe there is no good and evil?
If you were an unwanted child or if there was a child before your birthday, or it you grew up in a traumatic situation. If your parents were emotionally absent in relationship or physically absent. If there was a sudden separation from your mother, when you were not ready for that event. If your mother restricted you, or imposed who you are supposed to be, did not have her life, did everything for you and for your family (so she claimed), aroused your guilt, maybe she did everything for you, fulfilled every wish, maybe she called you pouring all your grief, and you felt like you were in a crack, in a cage and it was probably difficult for you to say: NO! that is – you probably carry this wound in you.
Codependence, or hyperindependence, lack of self-love, confusion, vague-illegible boundaries, fulfillment by fulfilling the needs of everyone around, dedication( cultural cult max size), or fulfilling only your needs, no matter what (see: narcissistic mother=narcissistic child, another max size condition). Next: lack of confidence in oneself and the world, lack of confidence in one’s own feelings, hypersensitivity to lack of emotional regulation.
It can stay in you.
Wound treatment is a process that is extremely happening in the body. And needs a lot of support from good environment. You will go down, to the very bottom, to the abdominals, there you will feel it. A child, a child to whom you will give love you never got. Maybe there will be fire – anger, maybe there will be water – tears, probably there will be this and this and even more: I feel – I embrace – I am.
You and your mother are separate existences. Psychological separation from the mother will allow you to free yourself. You will see yourself again, you will give unconditional presence, you will become a parent for yourself.
The mother’s archetype is incredibly deep in the human psyche, just like the archetype of the father. Both of these archetypes, in the context of healing childhood wounds are presentation a similar, formative function. But I write about mother here, the archetype of the mother bears the stigma of perfection. The father collapsed can be somehow forgiven, but mother? Unconditional love, warm, safe womb, which will accept everything? Women come into this world in a way burdened, this perfect, all-forgiving, constantly loving, eternally strong, god-giving version without restriction. A version where sexuality is also deeply displaced, or warped.
The earth will accept everything – well, no? 😉
Don’t be ideological/ perfect – just: love.
Download mother from the pedestal.
Your YES is as important as your NO.
At some point you need to cut the umbilical cord, if your mother haven’t done that, do it yourself.
If you are a mother, it is your wisdom, the knowledge that your children, your daughters and sons come into the world, to live first and foremost. And they belong to Life.
Breaking the “status quo” requires energy, and first – your decision.
If you were a wronged child. First see it, see that it’s true and respect your experiences and feelings unconditionally. Yes, I have suffered, I have the right to myself and to everything I feel. I give myself the right to myself and all my feelings. Anger, it is always a secondary emotion, under anger there is regret… Let it flow… Be unconditional to yourself. A deep descent into the body will make everything. Give yourself time, as much time as you really need…
And you’ll also find it what ‘loads you’, passion, fire, creations that will tell you what you want, like, love, and how to manifest yourself in the world, as an independent being (in healty meaning of indenpendency). What do you want as exactly you, when you no longer have to meet everyone’s expectations and projections? What are your genuine needs? It also involves rebuilding your own boudaries. Understanding where you are, where your place is, where you end and other begins.
Adopting your own body, not as an “object”, but an integral part of who you are. You no longer have to lose yourself in the feelings, emotions, messages that flows from somewhere outside of you, and you try to deal with them, as they have something to do with your business. Doing something that someone hasn’t asked you to do, or constantly giving without receiving, or constantly asking for everything is a characteristic feature of the wound we’re talking about. Just like not being respectful of others, pushing “after corpses to the goal.” You can feel a bond with someone in a sense of security, or in the absence of such a feeling. If you don’t have security with you, sens of safety, there is a tendency to bringing yourself to different extremes, unwittingly playing the dominant, coded model. True closeness, intimacy (in-to-me-see) with another person is impossible.
You deserve to be fully loved by yourself and by others.
In the process of treating the wound of the mother after the whole meeting with emotions, sensations that are enchanted in it, it is extremely important to rebuild yourself. It’s good to have support in this. Someone, a human, a mentor who will help you do this, someone who will understand perfectly what you are going through, and with whom you will be able to trust and feel safe. Nevertheless, it is first of all your own work, you independently rebuild your structures, you give yourself respect for your own boundaries and the limits of the other, you allow your sovereign, fulfilled being and expressing who you are. Not from the head, but combined. Remember your body is one structure, energy moves up and down proportionally. So it works that it is not able to move more in one direction than in the other. The movement of nature is harmonization, variability, cyclicality. If you’re just scalding, you’re immediately supporting the whole system to rebuild new cells, do you see that?
You are not co-addicts, but you exist with other people. You can trust and truly meet the other. And I promise you that all your relationships will find a different quality. The relationship will become a middle, connecting being, without walking in not your shoes in the name of the so-called – love?, willingness to help or some other reasons. You can have fun, you can laugh, you can cry, you can be who you really are, knowing that you are you and i am me.
In spirituality there is a saying: I am another You. And it’s true. Only some truths in our culture are pervasive to the optics of wounds we carry on personal and collective levels. It’s not your fault that you were hurt, it’s not anyone’s fault, it’s not about looking for the guilt at all, it’s a generational picture. Nevertheless, your healing is your responsibility. So! It may end up in you.
…. …. and this is the basis – literal and human! 🙂
The article you just have read is not simplifying the the subject. Every situation has to have it’s right tools and solutions. If you want to learn more, welcome to my sessions or workshops.